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 If
you are here to read old stupid stuff I have said, scroll down and
read away!
....then consider getting a hobby!
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Archive # 6
May 14th - July 6th 2004
7/06/04
Saturday I went skating with Dickson at the Berkeley skate park,
it's such a fun park. The bowl is really well designed. Not the best
surface (in spots), but the size, and layout make up for that. I
can't wait to go back.
Sunday, Shawn and Erin came over to hang out and go to fireworks.
Shawn and I skated my ramp in the 200 degree heat of the garage.
It's fun skating the ramp with other grownups, usually it's just me
and the boys (which is also fun, but in a different way). The
fireworks we saw at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill, were
pretty weak. It was the shortest fireworks display I have ever seen.
Thing 1 LOVED it, and Thing 2 buried his face in my neck, and would not
look at them for anything. He did see the 3 "test shots", and that's
when he decided he'd have nothing to do with the explosions in the sky.
Oh yeah, see "The Station Agent". Such a good movie! If you are a
student of film, or plan on making a movie someday, and expect me to
pay to see your poorly developed characters, I suggest that you rent
The Station Agent, see how to properly develop characters, and
subsequently give your audience a reason to care about them. Thank
you.
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6/28/04
This weekend we had two 'Hombres' working on our front yard.
Sal, and his Uncle. While the language barrier was a little
difficult, I am amazed at how hard these guys worked, and how much
they got done. They said they'd be at the house by 7:00am on
Saturday, and were there, and working by 6:55, and did not leave
until 3:30, with only about 20 minutes for lunch. These guys
were like robots. They were able to do more in one day than I
would have been able to do in four. I was truly impressed...
so much so, that I am going to revisit a previous entry from a few
months ago.
***Everybody
is always talking about how the Mexican immigrant workers in the US
are doing all the jobs that Americans wouldn't want, but I'm
thinking; 'Don't we have a homeless problem in the US?!?!?!' Why
aren't the able-bodied homeless/jobless Americans clamoring after
these so-called migrant worker jobs?
I'll tell you why. Picking strawberries is difficult, and welfare is
easy.
--I don't have anything against the migrant worker like so many do.
They come here, and work their asses off for very little, but what
they lack in pay is surely made up for in pride. I wish I could say
that about the Americans who could be doing those jobs.
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6/25/04
I finally got the
June 'Photo of
the month' up. Most of my photos don't have titles, but when I got
this one off the camera, Thing 2 was sitting in my lap because he wanted to see
his, "'kating pichurs", and when he saw this one, he yelled, "Uh Oh!
Hence the title,..."Uh oh!". This session ended because of poopy pants.
I only hope I can skateboard with my kids long enough to where they will have to
change my poopy pants.
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6/24/04
Thing 2's 2nd birthday!!! We went to the SF zoo, and had a
great day. After the zoo I asked Thing 2 what his favorite
animal was that we saw. I expected him to say, 'Lion', or
'Elephant', or, 'Tiger', or Rhino, but he insisted his favorite was,
"Ostrich!" What a cool kid.
Happy birthday Thing 2!!!!
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6/23/04
If you plan on having kids some
day, and you would prefer them not to be educated into idiocy, and perpetual
moronitude, and you want all that for free, heed this warning.
Buy your 1st house in a
town with great public schools. Yes, it will cost you more, but
it's worth it, believe me.
The public (free) school where I could send my sons (both "Super
Geniuses" by the way) is rated an appalling 1 out of 10. Which is like
saying it's 90% shitty.
So, private school is really
our only option. Our 5 year old recently graduated 'Junior Kindergarten',
and I had to sell 1 kidney, and a testicle to pay the tuition. Next year,
he will be in Kindergarten, and of course tuition goes up, and we'll
have to pay 300 dollars for books! Yes, 300 dollars for books.....for kids
that can read only a handful of 3 and 4 letter words. My senior year in
college I spent 250 dollars on books, and about crapped myself because of it.
So, kindergarten is going to
cost us around 10 thousand dollars, and that doesn't count any summer, or after
school programs. My kids better both get full ride scholarships to
college, because we're blowing their college money....on kindergarten!
So, you might be saying, "Sell your house, and move to a town
with better schools." Yes, good idea Einstein, however, where I
live, they build houses out of solid gold, and pump expensive
champagne through the plumbing. If we sold our house we could
buy a slightly better house....in the same town, or a porta-potty in
any of the better towns.
A crappy little 1000 square foot house with 3 bedrooms and 1
bathroom in the town next to us sells for over 600 thousand
dollars. Yes, I live in some weird kind of hell where crappy
little houses sell for millions of dollars. Our house has over
doubled in value in 5 years, but it seems like the houses in the
better towns have tripled in value, so we're stuck...unless we
want to move to Montana, or Idaho, or Kenya.
Another bit of advice;
don't ever take, and subsequently get stuck in a job in the San Francisco Bay
Area, unless you can somehow commute from Nigeria. It costs way too much
to live here, and it's not nearly worth the price. The bad things like the
traffic, The Raiders, and the cost of living unfortunately outweigh the good
things the area has to offer. I am not just telling you these things to
keep you out, and keep the Bay Area to myself. I hate it here, and I want
out.
Do you have a job for me?
I can juggle, eat spicy food, and dogs tend to like me....help me?....please?
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6/21/04
I got gas the other day and spent
$2.39 per gallon (for the middle grade, not premium, and not
regular). $38.15 to fill my tank!!!!! (Toyota pickup) DAMN!
I once had a '98 740i BMW , and I used premium gas, and it usually
cost me between $29, and $32 to fill it, and I always thought that
was a lot. Where's all that cheap Iraqi oil!?!?!?!?
Living in the San Francisco Bay Area is like financial suicide. It
costs SO DAMN MUCH to do anything. If you're considering buying a
house here. DON'T. Move to Montana where you can get a mansion
with hundreds of acres of land for the price of a 2 bedroom 1 bath
shack with no yard in the SF Bay Area. I wish I was exaggerating,
but I'm not.
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6/14/04
Sunday we went skating at Vans. The session flew by, but it
didn't feel like I skated very much. I've got to lose the camera, it seems
like I spend more time wrestling with it, than I do skating.
Click here to see a few Pics from yesterday
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6/10/04
This is a topic I should avoid, but what the hell.
Stop circumcising your children!
The removal of healthy tissue from the sexual organs of infants is a
sickening travesty.
Routine infant circumcision has been found to violate all seven
principles of the AMA code of ethics. The number one being, "Do No
Harm".
"Oh, but I want him to look like his Daddy." Is an excuse parents
often make. Think about how insane that is….
IT'S CALLED COSMETIC SURGERY!!!!!!, but it doesn't just change the
look, it changes how the penis functions. The glans (head) is meant
to be moist, and protected...NATURE INTENDED IT TO BE THAT WAY!!!!
Seriously, if I ever have a daughter, she's getting breast implants
when she's 2 days old so she can look like Mommy ;-)
In debates on the issue, parents usually say things like, "It's
our choice." WRONG. If you want to rob your son of the most
sensitive (best) part of his penis, approach him with that idea when
he's 18, and LET HIM MAKE THE CHOICE!!!!!
The Jews do it because God told them to. In the US, we do it
because some victorian-era-uptight-dickwads told us circumcision
curbed masturbation in boys. Funny how an occasional knob polishing
would be seen as more harmful than slicing a large hunk of skin OFF
THE PENIS!!!!!
When Thing 1 was in daycare there was this kid named Timmy whose
curly hair just grew and grew, was all over his face, and always in
his eyes. His parents (a couple of real winners by the way), said,
"We're not going to cut his hair until he can make the decision for
himself." Hmm, ok, whatever right? Here's the kicker, Timmy was
circumcised. They're going to leave haircut decisions up to a 3 year
old, but when it comes to his penis...the decision is theirs. Whackjobs.
Back in the old days (up to the mid 80's), people in the U.S. just accepted
circumcision as 'normal', and it was done, often without parental
consent. However, nowadays with all the research that has been done,
the practice has been irrefutably deemed unnecessary, and even
cruel.
I would hate for my kids to come to me 20 years from now, and ask,
"What the hell were you thinking?! I want my foreskin back!" (I
tried this on my parents, but they just laughed at me.)
Why is it that, female circumcision = bad, and male circumcision = a
choice for the parents to make. CRAZINESS!!!
Don't be duped. Doctors, and hospitals make LOTS of money by
performing this unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Don't let them profit
off your son's penis!!!
My boys are looking pretty scrawny, I think they each need silicone
belly implants, and maybe some hair plugs in their nose and ears...
so they can look just like daddy.
http://www.circinfo.org/parents.html
http://www.nocirc.org/
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/
http://www.circumcision.org/
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6/07/04
I skated with Dickson and Joey this weekend...good times.
We went to 3 skateparks that
were all pretty bad, but still fun (except for Martinez, that place did nothing
for me). It was fun skating new stuff, but made me realize how much I love
the Milpitas Vans Skatepark. If that place goes away, I will be VERY sad.
Pulling the pads on at our 1st
stop I thought to myself, "I never fall on my elbows" as I
tossed the elbow pads back in the trunk...bad idea. Apparently
I ALWAYS fall on my elbows, but I never realized it because I
was wearing elbow pads. I hit both elbows HARD a number of
times. They are all scratched up, and bruised to hell. I
wonder what pads I should try and do without next
weekend?
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6/03/04
So, I time-traveled last night.
To my dismay it wasn't nearly as cool as all the sci-fi dorks make it out to be.
I can't really explain how or
why it happened, but my guess is that Superman went on a bender,
and was doing his 'fly around the world really fast trick' to
impress chicks at a party, and being all drunk, couldn't get it
quite right.
I woke up because I heard my
youngest son cry. I went to check on them, everything was fine,
so I went back to bed, and it was 2:11 on my clock (this clock
is hard to miss, being as bright as the sun).
Back to sleep.
After hearing more noise in the boys room, I went to check it
out again, but this time when I came back to our room, I noticed
my clock said 1:14, 'What the hell?' I stood there stunned for
a minute, mumbled something like, "Stupid Superman", and went
back to sleep.
Not one single dinosaur, or
radioactive mutant. No flying cars, meals in a pill, or moving
sidewalks. No chance meeting with Sherlock Holmes, or Abe
Lincoln. Just a boring trip back in time 1 hour and 3 minutes.
Whoopty Friggen doo!
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5/27/04
Alright, I'm going to come off
like a prick here, but here we go anyway.
Fat girls in belly
shirts.....what the hell is going on? If you go to any mall,
You'll likely see 100 times more fat girls in belly shirts, and
low rise jeans with hunks of flesh billowing over the sides,
than you will hot chicks who those same clothes were designed
for.
If you want proof of America's spot at the top of the fattest
countries list, simply look how badly the current fashion trend
fits our youth. We recently got through years of an XXXL
clothing trend, so now that the young chubsters of the US are
exposed we see the truth.
I've been thinking about this
quite a bit, and have come to the conclusion that this fashion trend is
completely tragic, however, I am not quite sure of the exact reason.
Fat Girls in Belly Shirts is
tragic because:
1) Nobody, friends, nor family has told them, "You can't wear
that, your big fat belly is showing!"
2) The fat girl in question is the victim of a cruel joke at the
hands of a group of hot chicks, "OH MAH GAWD, you look sooo hot
in that! You can totally make head cheerleader this year."
3) The fat girl(s) know they're fat, but are proud of
their bodies, but us shallow people (me) don't get it.(Yeah, I'm sure that's not it either.)
4) She was thin, but got
fat real fast, (like overnight), and didn't have time
to get new clothes.
5) We're a nation of fatties, and we totally don't even care
anymore. "Hell yes I'm fat!! Watch me jiggle!"
So which is it?
If you know, please fill me in. In my opinion, the belly
shirt/low rise jeans combo is one of the most difficult looks to
pull off for women. I'd say it works well on less than 1% of
the female population.
Yes, it works better on thin girls, but I have also seen MANY
thin girls who just can't pull it off... the ass gets all
flattened, and the whole thing just looks weird.
The belly-shirt--low rise jeans--exposed G-string--lower back
tattoo look is probably the most difficult look to pull off in
all of fashiondom. When done properly, this thought is usually
evoked from men, "She's a total slut...awesome!". When done
incorrectly, guys think, "That fat chick is a total slut....ewww!"
I'm going to try and redeem
myself, and pick #3 as my theory of choice.
Girls today are proud of themselves. They are strong minded,
and refuse to let the media's definition of beauty define them.
To them I say:
JIGGLE
ON fat chick
in little clothes...JIGGLE
ON!
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5/25/04
Quote of the day (yesterday):
I was helping my 5 year old son get his pajamas on.
I told him to take his hand out of his underwear so I could get his
pants on."
He responded with,
"Hang on, I'm organizing
my penis!"
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5/20/04
Can we all agree that
environmentalists are evil? No? Ok then, let's look at some facts.
In the year 2000
over 300 million people were infected with malaria, and nearly 2
million were killed from it, mostly in
sub-Saharan
Africa. The majority of victims are children who die at a rate
of 3,000 a day.
So how are environmentalists to
blame you ask?
All these deaths occur because a few nut jobs raised a panic about
the use of DDT in the 70's. DDT controls mosquito populations,
and in South Africa where it's still used, the rate of Malaria
is very low. However, 1996 environmentalists convinced South
Africa to stop using it, thus prompting the worst epidemic in
that nation's history. When South Africa Said "Fuck you" to the
environmentalists, and began using DDT again, the rate of
Malaria dropped 80%.
So, you're probably asking,
yourself, 'Sure, DDT can save people from malaria, but at what
cost to those exposed to it, and the environment?"
In the US, DDT was literally dumped on farms for years and years
up until the 70's, and guess what, in the 60 years since DDT
was introduced, there has not been ONE case of actual harm
reported from it's use... NOT ONE! And if it was used all over
our farms (that grow the food we eat), why aren't we dead?
Yes, DDT did kill lot's of birds, and yes that is bad for the
ecosystem, however that happened when tons of DDT were being
dumped on farmlands. It is now known that miniscule amounts
sprayed in the homes of malaria stricken countries will cause NO
harm to any wildlife (other than mosquitoes), or plant life, and
these miniscule amounts can cut the rate of malaria by over
80%....Greenpeace opposes this. Why? Who knows, I'm guessing
they're too busy hugging trees, and humping humpback whales to
give a shit about the millions of CHILDREN who die each year.
What a bunch of wankers.
...And another thing. The
native Americans kept their forest safe from fire by clearing
the forest floor, and keeping low level brush from getting out
of control. The result, no fuel for forest fires. Along came
the self-righteous environmentalists who knew better than the
'savages' and said, "DO NOT clear the bush, you are damaging the
forest". Of course the Govt. listened, and now forest fires in
the US burn out of control killing thousands of times more trees
and wildlife than if the floor had been cleared. Good thinking
greenie!
...And don't even get me
started on MTBE in the gas. MTBE oxygenates gas, and makes it
burn more efficiently thus reducing emissions, sounds great
right? Wrong. It's toxic, has been discovered in ground water,
and environmentalists are now up in arms over it's use. The
funny part is, it was the environmentalists who first championed
the use of MTBE, and got it forced upon us. Once again, nice
work Greenie McFucknut!
Man I hate people.
(I think that qualifies me as an environmentalist).
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5/19/04
I had heard of
Pokemon before my eldest son was born, and I hoped it would be
out by the time he was old enough. Well, he’s 5
now, and he’s gone and gotten us both hooked on the cocaine that is pokemon.
Not the real card trading stuff, but the Gameboy video game versions,
which is actually more like crack.
If you don’t
know about Pokemon, let me give you a little background.
Pokemon are little wild creatures living peaceful lives until
they are captured by Pokemon trainers, and then forced to fight
with other Pokemon to get stronger, and better at fighting.
Timmy, can you say
‘Cockfighting’?
It’s virtual cockfighting without a doubt! I have a
feeling we're going to end up with a generation of adults who
are addicted to gambling on, and watching chickens fight to the
death. These will be the lawmakers, businessmen and teachers…I
guarantee I will be able to go to legal cockfights in Berkeley
in my retirement. They’ll be a little different though.
We'll see 'trainers' with huge anime style hair striking cheesy
kung fu poses and yelling things like, "Furious Pablo, I choose
you!” as they toss their razor-blade-laden-death-chickens into
the ring. "Furious Pablo, use your Spinning Ankle Blade
Attack!!!!"
"Your
chicken is dead sir".
"No
way, he’s got 17 more hit points, get up Pablo!!
PAAAAAAAAAAABLOOOOOOO!!!!! Goku, hand me a potion!!!!!!"
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5/18/04
Money for schools, money for schools, money for schools.
That's all I hear about education reform these days, but you know what?
Money will do NOTHING to reform our educational system. Yes, I think
teachers should be paid more, and run-down schools should be well equipped, but
let's say tomorrow you gave 5 million dollars to the crappy school in my
neighborhood. What would change? Better books, better desks, better
everything.......same students.
Money will not change the way these kids act, react, and behave
in school. Parents nowadays send their kids off to school, and
expect the best, with no involvement or concern. The inner city
schools that have been plagued by low test scores for so long
are not victims of budget, they are victims of student bodies
with no ambition, no respect, and no hope.
Did you know that hundreds and
hundreds of teachers are brutally beaten every year by students? So, what
has changed since I was in school? Violence in movies? No, I don't
think so. Video games? No. Lack of parental discipline and
control of wild kids? BINGO.
Parents just don't seem to care any more. Go out to any
restaurant, and watch the parents who let their kids go ape
shit, running amok, and ruining everybody's else's dining
experience. It's these shitty parents who allow their kids to
run amok in school, and ruin your kid's educational
experience.
Kids that are out of control take A LOT of class
time, and teacher involvement to keep in line. That is time
that is stolen from kids who have been raised properly. Your
kids (assuming you're not a shitty parent) education is being
jeopardized because some parents are lazy slackers that let
video games, Nickelodeon, and school staff raise their children.
So, how high do we need to raise taxes to improve our
educational system? What dollar amount given to schools will make parents
take a more active role in raising their children, and lessen the burden on
teachers? None. No amount of money can fix this problem.
Kids can sit in gold plated chairs writing with Mont Blanc pens
while being taught political science by Jimmy Carter, drama by
Al Pacino, and P.E by Michael Jordan, and nothing will be
different. Money for the schools will not fix the kids that
need help, nor will it benefit the kids that don't need help.
I wish I had a solution, but I
don't. I just see the problem.
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5/16/04
Went skating with Shawn at Vans
Milpitas on Sunday. Fun stuff. I really like that place, I just
need to crank up the bravery level. I was way unmotivated to try
new stuff, but we did work on learning to carve which was really fun
(We skated a lot of transition as kids, but it was mostly narrow, so
we learned a staight up and down approach, even when skating
pools). Can't wait to go back
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5/14/04
So, the Vatican's foreign
minister
Archbishop
Giovanni Lajolo
has come out against the US
and it's abuse of Iraqi prisoners. Very interesting given
the Church's abusive track record, and painstaking efforts to
keep it quiet. If anybody should keep their yaps shut
about abuse scandals, it's the Vatican.
One high ranking Vatican Archbishop
was quoted as saying, "The pictures, they are terrible. The US has done
the world a great disservice. If you are going to take pictures while
sexually abusing Iraqi prisoners, at least shave them down to look like little
boys."
By the way, I don't care what you say, it's not me
that's going to hell ;-)
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