You clearly don't care, but I tell you anyway.
 

Archive # 14 
Feb 26th 2007 - May 14th 2007

5/14/07
 I gained some insight this weekend into the world of parents who fight at children’s sports games.  No, I didn’t actually fight anybody, but I realized how easily it could happen if you let it.  If I were hotheaded, or anymore white trash than I already am, you’d be seeing me on the news, and on youtube knocking the teeth out of the Mets 3rd base coach.

Here’s the story.  It was the second to last game of the season for Thing1.  His team, the A’s have only won 1 game.  They just can’t seem to get it together, and it’s been a rough season for them.  Saturday, they were playing the Mets who are in 1st place, and have won most of their games, and are guaranteed a spot in the playoffs.  The Mets pulled out to a substantial early lead, and as we all noticed the first time we played the Mets. The 3rd base coach advanced runners at EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY.  He has signals that he sends to the base runner on 2nd, and is ALWAYS wind-milling his arm, sending kids around the bases.  That’s fine when they're base running on a hit, but every dinky little overthrow, or juggled ball thrown back to the pitcher, and this douche is sending runners.

A few of us were heckling him from the stands, and he tunred to look at us a few times, but he never stopped.  The Mets finished their last at bat with a lead of 34 – 3.  The A’s then had their best inning offensively, and battled back to come to within 26 runs of tying the game, but alas, it was not to be.

For some strange reason, this asswipe felt the need to totally demoralize the other team.  You may think, ‘Well, the Mets were getting hits, so kids were bound to score’, which is probably what he thought too, however, at this level (7 and 8 y/o), most outs come from a lack of base running skills, so when you let the kids play, and figure out how, and when to run on their own, it turns into a fun game.

Our coach was pissed.  The A’s bleachers were in complete awe.  It was chilly, and our bleachers were in the sun, so a couple that has a son on the Mets decided to sit on our side.  I bet they wished they hadn’t.  We all made sure to point out to them how running up the score in a game against the last place team was the equivalent of just walking up to the kids on the A’s, and telling them they suck at baseball.  It was totally asinine, and infuriating.  I kept my cool the whole time, but it was hard.

I calmly walked over the 3rd base coach after the game, and said, “Nice base coaching out there Lasorda.  Were there scouts here for you today or something?”  He smiled, and laughed, and gave me a thumbs up.  He could not detect the sarcasm.  He is so much of an oblivious asshole, he thought what he did was a good thing.”

Damn! I’m still mad.  I would still love to punch him right in the eye, but I’m really glad I’m not on youtube this morning in a clip titled, “Crazy dad attacks 3rd base coach in kid’s baseball game”.

I secretly wanted Thing1 to go all Tanner Boyle (Bad News Bears), and kick the guy in the shin when he was playing 3rd, but he didn’t know it was the coach’s fault, he just figured that he, and his team suck at baseball.  Nice going coach.

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5/10/07
 

My department at work did the Meyers-Briggs personality testing.  It turns out, I am INFP, which I think stands for:

Intoxicated Nipple Flicking Porn-addict.

 I better put that on my résumé.

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4/20/07


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4/18/07
I am getting really lazy with my blog.  It is so much easier to say stupid stuff on video, and post it, than it is to type stupid stuff.

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4/17/07
The boys like to pretend "Superheroes" a lot.  They ask us what our superhero names are, and what powers we have, then they tell us theirs.  Usually they are some variation of an existing superhero, like a "Golden Hulk", or "Aquaman who can shoot water blasts out of his fingertips".

We were playing Superheroes this weekend, and Thing2 threw us a curveball.  He claimed his power was that he could morph into anything.  Pretty sweet power if you ask me.  However, I don't think he fully understands the potential this power.  First he proudly proclaimed, "I am a wallet!", then a little later he became, "A piece of candy!", and after that he decided to morph into, "A water balloon!"

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4/15/07


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4/14/07
 We adopted a baby from the pound.  She's 9 month old Shepherd/Boxer mix.  I don't think she's 50/50 though, because she also looks like she's got some Ridgeback, and maybe some Staffordshire in there...she's 100% mutt, and 100% sweetie pie.  She's super smart.  She already knew 'sit', and I was able to teach her 'lie down' in about 20 minutes.  She hated her crate when 1st introduced, but after 1 day, sleeps in it through the night, and even goes in by herself.  She's an awesome dog.

We let the boys name her, and their list was awesome:  Tater Tot, Boba Fett, Peep, Chewbacca, Godzilla, and Gojira.  They decided Godzilla was cool, but maybe a bit 'too much', and went with the original Japanese name for Godzilla, Gojira (Go-Jee-Rah).




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4/11/07
 I hooked up a webcam, and called into Tom Green's Web show, "Tom Green Live".  Watch the video below, I show up about 4 minutes, and 39 seconds in.


Basically, I'm famous now, so go get me a bagel.
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3/28/07
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3/27/07
In yet another effort to make humans weaker by doing more for us, robots have removed the unwieldy 5 gallon-bottle-water-coolers at my work, and replaced them with Aqua Droids.  Most of my co-workers breathed a collective sigh of relief, but I know what's really going on.  They have been systematically weakening us for years.  Soon we will rely on them entirely, and it is then that they will exact their plan, and achieve their ultimate goal of world domination.  DAMN YOU ROBOTS!  DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!

AQD4 Standard AquaDroid.

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3/22/07
I got some sweet new glasses. My thinking is maybe if I look like a psycho killer, people will leave me alone.

These are Ray Ban Wayfarer II's by the way.  When I picked them up from the Kaiser optometry place, the eye doctor guy laughed at me, but at least he avoided all small talk.  They're working already!

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3/15/07

We went to Tahoe for four days to celebrate Thing1's 8th birthday.  1st of all, I can't believe he's already 8.  If you're looking to fast forward your life for whatever reason, have babies.
 
Tahoe was nice...60 degrees to be exact.  The boys said they were not ready to start snowboarding this trip, so we just played in the snow, went sledding, and hiking, and just chilled out in the cabin.  It was an awesome trip.
 
Here are a few clips of Thing 2 enjoying his very favorite song in the world.  "Master of Puppets" by Metalica on the way home from Tahoe.  He heard this song once about a year ago, and fell in love with it.  Now if I'm even remotely near a speaker, or some sort of device that might possibly play music, he says, "Daddy, play Master of the Puppets!"  When we play it for him, he rocks out for the entire 8 minutes, and 38 seconds of the song.  He's 4, so comparatively, that's like me rocking out for for about 72 minutes straight.

                        He's also a fan of the classics.

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3/12/07
Happy 8th Birthday Thing1!!!!!!
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3/05/07
Opening Day for the boys was on Saturday.

Thing2 is playing T-Ball, and they don't keep score at his level.  He hit the ball off the T, ran the bases, and chased the ball down on defense.  Even though he's never played, he looked like he knew what he was doing.  Stud!

 The last time Thing1 played was in T-Ball when he was Thing2's age now.  He didn't really like it, so he didn't play for the next 2 years.  This year he decided to play.  The bummer part is that over the last two years I have not really pushed him to play catch  (even though I really wanted to, because I LOVE playing catch), because he was never into it, and I don't want to be that dad.

So, there we were, on opening day.  Thing1 had no practice, because they were rained out.  This was the first time he met his team, and coach.  We have practiced when we could over the last few weeks, but he still has a hard time catching, batting, ... and sometimes throwing.  I was SUPER STRESSED for him, he wasn't worried at all though.

They had a quick practice before the game, and he was fielding ground-balls really well, he even took a bad hop to the throat, and just blew it off instead of bursting into tears like he would have if I was standing right there with him.  In batting practice, he tipped a couple, but couldn't get his bat on one (this is coach pitch).

In the game he started in left-center, stopped a ball, and threw it in to the pitcher...STOKED.  His 1st at bat had me on the edge of my seat.  They get 4 pitches...sometimes 5.  He missed the 1st two, and blasted the 3rd pretty deep for a stand-up double!!!  What the hell?!  It was awesome.  It was the best hit of the inning, and every kid on the roster got a hit.  He struck out the next time, but hey, he's batting .500 on the season.


Nice work guys!
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2/26/07
When it's rainy, we always find something fun(dumb) to do.

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