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 If
you are here to read old stupid stuff I have said, scroll down and
read away!
....then get a hobby!
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Archive
# 1
June 03 - Nov 03
10/31/03
Happy Halloween! I have nothing to bitch about today, so I'll lay a
little reminiscence on you.
The year was 1978, my family and I had recently moved to Weston
Connecticut. I was 8 years old, and had made no friends yet. I was a
shy, timid little kid. Halloween I guess snuck up on us that year, because
at about 5:30pm, my mom said in a rather panicked voice, "Tommy, what do
you want to be for Halloween this year!?"
"It's Halloween?" I asked.
My Mom convinced me that yes, it actually was Halloween, and I guess she
felt bad that we had forgotten. I remember being sad, and pulling the old,
"I don't want to be anything, I don't want to go trick or
treating." You know, the whole 'poor me' thing that kids are so good
at.
Well, my mom wasn't buying it. So she ran around the house, her creative juices
flowing, and she came back in the room with newspapers, and a plastic garbage
bag. She proceeded to tear leg and arm holes in the bag, made me get
inside, then proceeded to fill the bag with crumpled up newspaper, and then
cinched the top at my neck.
"You're a bag of garbage!" she proudly exclaimed. Now, I
don't blame her, but for a recently uprooted kid with no friends, who is in the
process of adjusting to a new home on the other side of the country, hearing
"You're a bag of garbage", didn't exactly make for the feel good
moment of the season.
Well, she loaded me in the car, and off we went trick or treating. At each
house, I would unwillingly squeeze my bloated body bag out of the car, and make
a pathetically slow walk to the front door, and hesitantly ring the bell.
"Trick or treat." I'd mumble.
"Oh hi!" My over enthusiastic neighbors would boom. "What
are you supposed to be?"
"I am a bag of garbage." I'd mumble, which resulted in a
pathetic, "Oh I see.", and out of pity, each time they'd say,
"Here, go ahead and take a few."
Anyway, Happy
Halloween! And this year, if you get a kid at your door who
is " a bag of garbage", go ahead and give him a few extra pieces
of candy.
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10/29/03
California is burning. Thousands of homes destroyed, tens of
thousands of people displaced, 900 sq. miles of the Golden State charred.
On a bright note, hundreds of scripts destined to become crap made-for-TV-movies
about the '03 Californian Firestorm are turning to ash as fast as they can be
written. Even a firestorm has a bright side :-|
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10/27/03
The Vikings lost to the Giants. 6-1. Still amazing, but
not undefeated. DAMN!
I am Milton from the movie Office space.
When I started this job, I had a cube with a nice window. Then THE COMPANY
shrunk our 'office space', and I got a communal cube with no windows. Now
in a few months because business is in the crapper I get moved with two of my
co-workers, (also both named Milton) into a communal CLOSET! As hard as I
try to fool myself, it has become frustratingly evident that I have
arrived at the dead-end. DAMN!
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10/24/03
My favorite
oxymoron : Jumbo shrimp
palindrome : Anal sex at noon taxes Lana
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10/23/03
It's a sad day in the annals of television sitcom history. Fred
"Rerun" Berry is dead at the age of 52.
The real tragedy is that while Rerun is doing his Pop and Lock dance up in
heaven, Steve Urkel is still alive and well.
I heard there was a small get together at Rob's Diner, and Shirley whipped up
some mean chili. Dwayne and Roger snuck to the back to drink some stolen
whiskey, and Dee who found them was heard saying, "Ohhhh, I'm gonna tell
mama!" The Doobie Brothers preformed a surprise set, but that was cut
short, when it was discovered that bootleggers were recording the show.
- Hey hey hey.- Shine on Rerun Stubbs.
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10/22/03
In the last week or so, a few high ranking Muslim leaders have called for the
ultimate defeat of the Jews of the world. So, the questions are:
A) Are the Jews in fact running the world?
B) If they are, are they doing a bad job of it?
Well obviously the Jews are not in charge everywhere, that's just
silly.
Israel - YES,
New York - YES,
Hollywood - YES.
Crappy countries where Jews, and people of most other religious faiths alike would never visit - NO.
Where there is a Muslim majority, obviously the Jews are not in charge. Where
people enjoy life, and where they want for very little, sure, maybe the Jews are
in charge. I say more power to them!
Now, let's look at the 2nd question, and perhaps we'll get some insight into the
motivation for Mahathir Mohamad's (Malaysian Prime Minister) call for 'The new
and improved Final Solution'.
Look at the places that are completely controlled by the Jews. Israel has an
incredibly high literacy rate, standard of living, and of course an extensive
collection of comedy clubs. Hollywood, while having a low literacy rate, does in
fact have one of the highest standards of living. For example, each resident is
given a brand new Hummer H2 when they register to vote. That's livin' baby!
It's obvious to me that the Muslims of 3rd world countries are sick and tired of
living in shitty conditions where progress is measured in the murder of others,
and they simply want what the Jews have. They want TiVo, Starbucks, The
Sopranos, and well, hummers ;-) They would forsake the mighty Allah in a
heartbeat for the chance to watch the Friends season finale, with their feet up
on an IKEA coffee table, while wifey comes in the door wearing hotpants and a
halter top, holding a COSTCO size bag of potato chips and four St. Ides 40oz. Malt
Liquors. Allah would be long forgotten except for the occasional prayer asking
for the TV remote to magically levitate from over there, to over hear. Allah Schmalla. Praise hedonism, and thank the Jews! L'chaim!
This is called 'satire' folks. Lighten up!
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10/20/03
I got beat up by a bunch of bushes this weekend. I cut down some large
hedges with a chainsaw, and they kept falling on my head. My biggest fear
was of the saw, not the foliage. Lesson learned.
Vikings
remain unbeaten 6-0. Best record in the NFC, and tied for the best record
in the NFL (until the Chiefs hammer the Raiders tonight, then the Kansas City
Indigenous Tribal Leaders (Chiefs) go 7-0). This season is AWESOME!
...so far.
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10/17/03
I had a poor night sleep last night. I went to sleep around 10:pm, and was
wide awake, raring to go by 1:30am. My body and mind were ready to begin
the day, but the commonly accepted conventions of sleep dictate that I need to
remain unconscious until daylight. I laid in bed miserable for an hour,
until I threw caution to the wind, shook my wife awake, yelled,
"ANARCHY" at the top of my lungs, and then read a book for the next
few hours.
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10/15/03
I keep reading about these car bombs going off and
I'm thinking, "What the hell is wrong with these cars?!" Is it
that Middle Eastern heat causing these things to blow? Whatever the
reason, I'm canceling my rental car for my upcoming trip to Syria.
"Let's see, you requested a Ford Pinto."
"Yeah, about that, can I upgrade to a camel?
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10/14/03
Another brush set added, # 27. If you need bubbles, this is the
set for you! ;-)
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10/10/03
New Brush set added Set # 26 (see 'Brushes' page)
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10/8/03
I live in Kul-ee-phone-ya, and my governor is an Austrian robot from the
future....weird.
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10/7/03
I have a headache.
In the past couple months I have thought about trying an open mic night at a
comedy club, because I have a fairly solid 10 minutes of material. The
only problem is, they don't let 5th graders into comedy clubs, and seeing as my
act would run in the 98% "poo-poo jokes" range, I fear my target
audience would not be available to me.
By the way Mr. or Mrs. Mature, poo is funny!
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10/6/03
Ok, I don't want this to be a sports column, but c'mon! The
Vikes are 5-0!! The nay sayers are crying, "easy schedule!",
but, how is a season opener against Greenbay.....in Greenbay easy? 49'ers
in SF? Yes, they have beaten teams with a combined 8-16 record, but 5 of
those 16 losses were to the Vikings!!!! So that is a pointless stat to look
at. Look, the Vikings have won the 1st 5 games of the season Without
their Pro-Bowl running back, and the last two of those games, without the
starting QB (also a pro bowler)! And another thing, the Vikes finished
last year at 6-10, but they won their last 3 games. So, that means they
have won 8....that's EIGHT, in a row! They are for real.
The Raiders lost to the previously winless Bears, all because that
scumbag Janikowski muffed a PAT!!! I love this season!!!!
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10/3/03
So Rush Limbaugh is in trouble. I hated Rush when I was an ignorant
liberal college student, but now that I am an adult, and I am raped bi-weekly by
state and federal taxation, I see where the guy is coming from..... I mean with
the pills ;-) Having to do verbal battle with the government hungry, and
tax happy liberals on a daily basis would cause anybody to seek the
relief of powerful pharmaceuticals. If you're going to tax the shit out of
me, represent ME! I need an oxycontin...... or 4700 of them
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10/1/03
The site exploded in a bloody heap of 1's and 0's
today. I need to get in the practice of editing my site locally, and not
on the fly on the server side. Very dumb. All is almost well.
Losing everything here, and not having a single point to recover from made me make
this face:
It's October, and the Vikings are still 4 and
0. If the Vikes keep winning, and the Raiders continue to embarrass
themselves, I will be a happy man, despite looking like the above 'glamour shot'
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9/26/03
Added a little photo-journal of my mini-ramp building process on the Misc.
section. The ramps sits silent for the time being, as I am still
recovering from a broken fibula suffered on the 5th DAY AFTER THE RAMP WAS
DONE!!!!!! DAMN!!!! I'm actually ready to skate it again, and am excited
to get to it, but we have been working on the house, so a lot of crap is sitting
on the ramp. That's my excuse for not skating. It has nothing to do
with my abject fear of broken bones! Shut up!
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9/22/03
A few site updates. If you find some problems, just let me know.
Spent the weekend demolishing our old concrete patio. I had a
jackhammer, but the part I was working on I needed to keep in big pieces to make
getting rid of it easier, so I ended up using a 16lb. sledge hammer, and a steel
digging stick. I am physically worked. Everything hurts, and I'm
only about 1/4 of the way finished. Ouch.
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9/19/03
It's been a long week. I am tired, cranky, a little sweaty, kind of
hungry, a tad nervous, and a quite aggravated.
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9/15/03
New image added to gallery "Box" (1st image on 1st gallery page)
Vikings are 2-0!!!!
The raiders almost lost to the Bengals!!! LOLOLOL!!! That would
have been even sweeter than seeing them lose in the Super Bowl. Yes, I
hate the Raiders. Mainly because I hate Al Davis, and what he did to his
fans....twice! Football would not exist if it weren't for the fans.
Well, except raiders fans, Al Davis could burn a Raiders fan's house to the
ground, and smack their mothers, but they'd still love the team, and continue
handing their hard earned $$$ to Al Davis. Screw that.
Go Vikes! I'd like to see a Vikings/Raiders Super Bowl where
the Raider's are beaten so embarrassingly, that Davis moves the team to see if
they could compete in NFL Europe, and when they lose their opener against the
Berlin Thunder 52-0, Davis folds the team, and moves in to European Arena
football.
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9/9/03
My 4.5 year old son started Junior Kindergarten at a real
school. One thing about the whole experience (1st day of school) that
really made an impression on him was the lack of naptime. When we picked
him up, the first thing he said in a desperate tone, "There's no
naps!", and having difficulty holding up his head in the car on the way
home he mused, "I think my next school should have naps."
Sorry pal, :-(
Welcome to the real world, where naps are only available when you need them
least.
Digital painting #3 added to the gallery it's called
"Tongue"
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9/7/03
Happy birthday to my beautiful wife Deniece!!!!!!
It's about time you turned 18, and made this relationship legal ;-)
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9/4/03
September....blech! Back to school time is always a bummer.
I really dislike politicians. Lawyers I'm indifferent towards,
they're out to earn a buck, yeah, it's an industry filled with scumbags but what
the hell, we all need jobs. Politicians however, are after power....that
frightens me. They don't make much money, so obviously that's not the
draw. They want to make decisions on behalf of you, and that affect
you. They for some reason feel this divine right to lead you. You
are a sheep, and they feel as though they, and only they should be your
Sheppard. We put so much faith in them, and so want to believe the crap
they say, but you know what? At the end of the day, they are most likely
still less intelligent than you, they scratch their ass when it itches, they
wipe their boogers on their socks, and they get constipated from cheese...just
like you and me ;-)
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8/18/03
New Image added. "Mud" (2nd image on the gallery page).
Been working on digital painting, and this one is a couple steps ahead of the
last one, but still needs some work. I'm, already working on #3.
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8/15/03
New image added. "Lou".... I have no idea, so don't ask
:-|
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8/14/03
I am running for Governor of California. My platform
is based on opposition to those that would repeal the physical laws of
nature. My current slogan:
Gravity, it's not just a good idea, it's the law...
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8/8/03
Upgraded the 'brushes' page. Now there is a little
description of the brush set with the range of brush sizes, number of brushes,
and the 'genre' they fall under.
New brush set added. (#25)
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8/7/03
Site version 1.5 is now up. If you see any problems,
just let me know.
I am dressed very poorly today, even for me
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8/5/03
There have been a few who've asked me what the picture to the left is all about,
"What is that?", and "What's the number on the chest?".
So, here's the scoop. That is a self portrait called "Corporate
Zombie". The number/barcode is my personal employee i.d. number
(really). I like my job well enough (read, -"I would be poor without
it"-) but that is what I feel like most days.
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8/4/03
Some site problems have been addressed. It's
official, I make very boring websites. Simplicity tends to come with an aesthetic
cost.
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8/1/03
Happy birthday Dad!
tomledin.com v1.2 is up
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7/30/03
Layoffs at my company (Yikes). It's all a big secret though, so morale is
at an all time low. People are walking around like zombies. Fun.
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6/19/03
2 Brush sets added (#23 and 24)
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6/3/03
New tutorial added.
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